For Women Who Have Been Betrayed
I know how hard it is to have your heart smashed in a million pieces & your unsure what to do - when. You feel paralyzed to put guard down, yet your do not want to live in disconnection. You spend all of your time reading books on betrayal, or listening to podcasts, grasping at straws to try to find something, anything that can give you understanding, hope, or relief. I want to help you find help NOW, so that the days, weeks, and months do not drag on, leading you to lose hope, and lose hours of your life! Reach out Today!
Intimate Betrayal Recovery
Is This You?
You're a Christian woman whose world has been shattered by betrayal.
Maybe it's pornography, affairs, or other addictive behaviors, like gambling or substance abuse that have left you questioning everything.
You feel shame, embarrassment, and fear around finding help because:
- You're afraid the professional won't "get it" or will judge your situation
- You don't want to be told to just "pray harder" or "submit more"
- You're worried about wasting time and money on someone who doesn't understand betrayal trauma
- You want professional expertise but with sound Biblical guidance
- You have financial resources to invest in real healing, but you need to know it's worth it
- You don't want to get divorced, but you don't trust your husband
- You need clarity before making any major decisions about your marriage
If this sounds like you, you're in the right place.
And most importantly - the betrayal is NOT your fault.
For Men Who Are Committed to Sobriety & Helping Her Heal
If you are a man who is addicted- you cannot save your marriage or live a life for Christ until your get sober. Period. Full Stop. Until you are ready to commit to surrendering your life fully and completely to Christ and living a life of integrity and connection, I cannot help you- she cannot help you.
IF you are sober and committed to your recovery and doing what it takes to make a living amends for the harm that you have done to her through your addictive behavior, deceit, and allllll the ways you have created distruction, I can help you to help her. I offer groups for men called Restoring Intimacy Through Empathy (R.I.T.E. Group) with a follow-up group called Tough Love for ongoing skills, hot-seat coaching, and accountability.
I also offer Full-Therapeutic Disclosure Support for you to give her what she deserves (IF she is asking for it), the TRUTH!
I offer Brainspotting for increased Spiritual Growth, Fighting Lies of Shame, Trigger Responses, etc., and more programs and courses coming in 2026.
Looking for Help for Intimate Betrayal Help?!?
Intimate Betrayal Is...
Intimate betrayal is a profound violation of trust that occurs within romantic or marital relationships.
It happens when your partner—the person with whom you share your deepest emotional, physical, and spiritual connection—breaks the trust and safety that defines your intimate bond.
Unlike other forms of betrayal, intimate betrayal strikes at the core of your most vulnerable relationship, affecting every dimension of your life together.
At its heart, intimate betrayal involves deception or harmful behavior by the person who promised to be your closest ally and protector. This violation fundamentally disrupts the attachment bond and can leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about your relationship, your partner, and even yourself.
Intimate Betrayal can cause symptoms of trauma..
Yes!
Common Signs and Symptoms of Intimate Betrayal
Many people wonder whether their experiences constitute betrayal trauma. If you're asking yourself "do I have trauma from betrayal," recognizing the signs can help you understand your experience and seek appropriate support.
Emotional and Psychological Symptoms
People experiencing betrayal trauma often report:
- Difficulty trusting others, even in new relationships
- Constant hypervigilance or feeling "on edge"
- Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks about the betrayal
- Intense feelings of shame, guilt, or self-blame
- Emotional numbness or feeling disconnected from yourself
- Anxiety, depression, or mood swings
- Feelings of confusion about what happened or "gaslighting" yourself
Physical Symptoms
Betrayal trauma can manifest in physical ways:
- Sleep disturbances or nightmares
- Fatigue or chronic exhaustion
- Digestive issues or changes in appetite
- Headaches or body tension
- Weakened immune system
- Panic attacks or heart palpitations
Relationship and Behavioral Patterns
You might notice changes in how you relate to others:
- Isolating yourself from friends and family
- Difficulty forming close relationships
- Testing others' loyalty repeatedly
- People-pleasing or losing your sense of boundaries
- Becoming overly controlling or suspicious
- Avoiding intimate relationships altogether
Why Betrayal Trauma Feels Different
Betrayal trauma is particularly complex because it creates a double bind: the person or institution that hurt you is often someone you need or depended upon.
This can lead to what's called "betrayal blindness"—a phenomenon where you may unconsciously block out information about the betrayal to preserve the relationship or your sense of safety.
This is especially true in situations where:
- You're financially dependent on the person who betrayed you
- The betrayal involves a parent or primary caregiver
- You're part of a community that pressures you to forgive or stay
- Leaving the relationship would create other significant losses
When to Seek Support
If you recognize these symptoms in yourself, know that healing from betrayal trauma is possible. Consider seeking professional support if:
- Your symptoms interfere with daily functioning
- You're experiencing thoughts of self-harm
- You feel stuck or unable to move forward
- You're struggling with substance use or other coping mechanisms
- You want to understand your experience better and develop healthy coping strategies
A Specialist Not a "Generalist"!
When healing from intimate betrayal, the most effective professional support typically comes from someone who is trauma-informed and partner sensitive, and has training in relational betrayal.
This could be a licensed therapist or psychologist or a Credentialed Coach with APSATS Training,
If you are having symptoms that need managed through therapy because you cannot manage them on your own, if you are needing a diagnosis, or a referral, or if you need something documented in a formal "medical chart", you will need to see a therapist.
If you are not having mental health symptoms specialist who can guide you, will determine if you can work with a coach or if you need to have a Therapist!
The Role of Mental Health Professionals
Therapists, counselors, and psychologists with specific training in betrayal trauma, attachment wounds, or PTSD offer evidence-based treatment approaches like EMDR, trauma-focused CBT, or emotion-focused therapy.
Look for professionals who have training and experience with betrayal trauma specifically—not all therapists are trained in this specialized area.
For Christian clients, a licensed Christian therapist can integrate faith and scripture into treatment while providing clinical expertise. This combination addresses both the psychological and spiritual dimensions of intimate betrayal.
The Role of Coaches
Betrayal trauma coaches can provide valuable support, accountability, and practical strategies for daily life. However, coaches are not licensed mental health providers and cannot diagnose or treat mental health conditions. Coaches work best as a supplement to therapy, not a replacement, especially in the acute stages of trauma.
Pastoral Support
Pastors and spiritual counselors offer important spiritual guidance, prayer support, and biblical perspective. They're invaluable for processing the faith questions that arise from betrayal. However, most pastors aren't trained in trauma treatment. Pastoral care works best alongside professional therapy, not instead of it.
The Best Approach
Many people find the most healing through a team approach: a licensed trauma therapist for clinical treatment, a pastor or spiritual director for faith guidance, and possibly a coach for ongoing support and accountability.
This comprehensive approach addresses the psychological, spiritual, and practical aspects of recovery.
Red flags to avoid: Any professional who minimizes your trauma, pressures quick forgiveness without accountability, or suggests you're partly to blame for your partner's betrayal.
Anytime you are working with someone and it is not helpful, it is ok to let them know you need something different, or find another resource!
Why Chose Me As Your Guide?
APSATS-Trained & Certified
APSATS-Trained & Certified
I follow the APSATS Partner-Sensitive & Trauma-Sensitive Model- the gold standard for betrayal trauma recovery.
This means:
- Your trauma is validated and treated appropriately
- You won’t be blamed for your partner’s choices
- We focus on YOUR healing first
- No pressure to make marriage decisions before you’re ready
What I will Do:
APSATS-Trained & Certified
- Help you understand what has happened in a safe, judgment-free environment
- Provide Biblical truth about betrayal (it’s NOT your fault)
- Guide you to clarity about your values, needs, and boundaries
- Support you whether you’re working on individual healing or considering couples work
What I Do NOT Do
What I Do NOT Do
- I don’t tell you whether to stay married or get divorced
- I will not shame or criticize your partner or their struggles
- I don’t give advice - I help you find YOUR answers
- I don’t minimize your pain with spiritual bypassing
- I don’t rush you into forgiveness or reconciliation
- I do not "treat" any mental health issues
- I do not "diagnose"
Danielle Nicole Coaching, LLC believes in the importance of understanding the relationship between Body, Mind, & Spirit and providing education & support in all these areas! Our humanity is NOT just a Spiritual Problem to "pray away", nor is it an issue that God can't or won't help in. It's BOTH!
Danielle Lew, MSW, CPC, APSATS-CCPS
Statement of Faith
Danielle Nicole Coaching, LLC, & team holds the following beliefs;
The Bible is the Word of God
The Bible is the Living Word of God , inspired by God, and the basis for authority for all Christian faith and life. The old testament is a prophesy of the coming of Jesus, and the New Testament is the fulfillment of the Law, through the life and death of Jesus and what is to come for eternity.
The Bible is what guides us, one way that God speaks to us, what he has planned for us, the Battles we will fight, and how they will be won.
I read the Bible as a love story- how God loved when He made man, and loved when he sent Jesus to make a way for us to come back to Him and live eternity with Him when our time on earth is through.
The Trinity
God, who created all things, eternally exists in three persons: Father, Son (Jesus) and Holy Spirit. Sperate but One.
That Jesus Christ was conceived of the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary, fully human and fully God. He died on the cross as the perfect sacrifice for our sins according to the Scriptures.
Man is a sinner in need of a Savior
God created man in His own image, but man chose to sin and is, therefore, lost and separated from God. And, we believe that, because Jesus died on the cross for our sins according to the Scriptures, all who believe in Him are justified by His blood which He shed on the cross.
Death & Resurrection of Jesus
He then arose from the dead, ascended into Heaven, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father, where He is our High Priest and Advocate.
Holy Spirit resides in Us
That the ministry of the Holy Spirit is to glorify Jesus Christ, to convict, baptize, fill, anoint, empower, regenerate, guide, comfort, teach and impart spiritual gifts to the believer for Godly living, service and witness.
Salvation & Faith
That all who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and who, by faith, receive Him into their hearts and lives are born again of the Holy Spirit and thereby become children of God.
The Church is not a "Place"
The Church is not a "place" but is composed of all persons who have been saved through faith in Jesus Christ and who have been filled with the Holy Spirit and are united together in the Body of Christ.
Justice will Prevail
In the personal and imminent return of our Lord Jesus Christ, and in the bodily resurrection of the unjust and just. The unjust will be eternally separated from the presence of God, but the just will live and reign with Him eternally.
Our Responsibility
That Jesus commanded all believers to proclaim His gospel message throughout the world and to make disciples of all nations. He also commanded us to be salt and light, demonstrating compassion for the hurts and needs of His image-bearers.
We are given Power
God first forgave us and made a way for us to be reconciled to Him, and because of His power of His shed blood that defeated death, we are also able, through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, to do all things through Him, who gives us strength, including to forgive one another and to experience reconciliation, restoration and healing after brokenness.
We will be redeemed & restored
That God delights in us as His creation, that He has purpose for our lives and that He offers us a great exchange: beauty for ashes, blessing instead of mourning, praise instead of despair, life for death. And that through His exchange, we can live in the fullness of His freedom.
Spiritual Warfare
That our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
I believe that He has overcome the enemy, Satan, and because we are His children, we are seated with Him in the heavenlies and can overcome him (Satan), through the powerful name of Jesus and by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.
Client Testimonials....
A Christians Girl's Guide to Healing Betrayal
If you are walking through betrayal, I would be honored to have at least a small part in our journey!
Download this workbook to get some prompts to help get you focused on our needs that honor your pain and your faith!
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