Betrayal Recovery Coaching

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Working with a coach can be helpful for solution-focused approaches (such as identifying needs, setting boundaries, etc.) or for working on your needs & request for a Full Disclosure, getting clarity on decisions, etc.

As long as you are in general good health, able to take actions on the plans that you commit to, & are not in any immediate threat of safety, coaching may be a helpful model !

Betrayal Trauma effects people in different ways. Yes, there are very similar, and predictable behaviors, patterns, and needs that emerge after intimate deception, however there are differences in regards to ones support system, resources, genetics, co-morbid conditions, varying degrees of traumatic events, etc.

For clients who are having symptoms of clinical depression or anxiety that is causing impairment, self harm behaviors, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, or who are not able to function in day to day responsibilities, coaching is not an appropriate service.

Therapy would be a better, appropriate service and once more stable, then coaching can be in addition to therapy, or in place of, if therapy goals have been met and there is no longer a medical need for therapy.

Some of my clients work with me for coaching, and also have a therapist. 

This is not uncommon. 

If I begin coaching with a client and the need for therapy emerges, I will make this recommendation and be a "bridge" until therapy begins, as long as there are no safety concerns. 

As a mandated reporter in the State of PA, if any client of mine is at risk for harming self or others, or discloses that they have been harmed while as a child and the person is disclosed-identified to me, by law I have to report that,  as required in the State of PA. Even if I am not seeing you in a therapist capacity. Safety is always first and laws and ethics will trump my preference or my clients (This is also stated in my coaching contract agreement!)

When we first meet, for the consultation, I will have an idea of what it is that you want to work on. 

From there you can expect that I will be open with my own recovery journey (if that is something that you would like to hear!) as nearly all of my clients request to know the journey I have been on, which brings comfort, and builds faith (I share the beauty from the ashes!)

We will discuss your goals, challenges, and strategies for overcoming obstacles. 

And I will provide guidance, support, and accountability to help you achieve your goals.

I will ask you thought provoking questions, and help you to connect your options with your values. 

Absolutely NOT!

As a coach, I rarely (if ever) do not give advice at all -on anything, but rather help you to come to your own conclusions. 

I can share what I see or hear from outsiders perspective, I will ask thought provoking questions, give homework assignments, or use Brainspotting techniques to help you arrive at your own conclusions.

I may share stories of things I have heard or learned along the way, of what has worked or not, etc. and if I do have an option, I generally ask, "how does that sit with you"? Or "have you considered ____", as an option. I do not consider myself an expert in others' lives, to be able to give advice on decisions on marriage!

It is not my position, or within my scope to share my opinion or to advise you on whether to stay or leave in your relationship and I will not try to sway you in one way or another.

I will not judge or shame, condemn for any choices that you make in your life, including your marriage. 

**IF HOWEVER YOU BECOME IN DANGER OR YOU HAVE CHILDREN IN DANGER THEN I WILL DEFINATELY BE ADVISING TO USE CRISIS SUPPORTS**

Most of my clients reach out to me because of shared Christian Faith, though I do not discriminate or "force" the topic of faith to any of my clients! 

In fact, many of my clients of Spiritual Trauma or "Church Hurt" from inappropriate reactions or reactions from church members, clergy, Pastors, etc. I am very aware and sensitive to this! 

It is always an option for you to  incorporate faith into coaching space with me! I will ask if you would like to, and if so, I will offer to pray at the beginning of the session, point you to scripture where appropriate, and during Brainspotting Sessions, connecting with Holy Spirit is always an option that most often brings powerful experiences! 

The length of the coaching depends on your preference, goals, and circumstances!

Since I offer many different types of supports, ie. Brainspotting, groups for various topics, couples work, & intensives, clients can move along the "spectrum" of needs for quite a while along the different stages of growth! 

Some of my clients need short-term support with getting clarity or for brainspotting, while others have been working on goals for months or years.

There is no "cookie-cutter" approach.

Using the Multi-Dimensional Model of Recovery, if someone seeks coaching in "Phase 1", they could be in coaching for years before feeling they are in "Phase 3" - Some of this will also be dependent on the cooperation, willingness, and progress of your spouse/partner to get into good recovery.